The Bridal Party.

Listening to: EVERYTHING BY DAUGHTER. NEW OBSESSION. OMG.

Hope you're having a good Monday so far, my fraunds. :)


So the situation with the bridal party is much like the situation with the guest list: it's possible that you feel obligated to ask everyone that you know, resulting in an unnecessarily large bridal party. I know that in some cultures it's customary to have a lot of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and to be honest, it doesn't bother me that much. The only problem is if you are a very demanding bride, in which case you're probably asking them to get a very specific dress in a very specific color and a very specific style, which could be very expensive. (If you guessed that 'very' is the word of the day, you guessed right! Congratulations! Give yourself a pat on the back and buy yourself a cookie. You earned it).

If you decide to have a Maid of Honor, then it falls to that person to throw you a shower, which could also be expensive. If you want a Jack and Jill shower, it's customary to have it in a hall, and those are not cheap, unless you pick the slummiest one you can find. Even if you don't have a Maid of Honor, one of your bridesmaids is probably going to throw you a shower. If it's a personal one for just women, then the cost isn't going to be bad, most likely. However, if you want a big one for both you and your soon-to-be-husband, we just go in a loop and we're back to the same renting a hall problem. Of course, if you have a willing friend that offers to let you use their house for your shower, then fantastic. Bear in mind that planning a shower is a lot of work, and a thank you present for whoever throws you one would be a very nice gesture.

Now onto the next part: how many bridesmaids/groomsmen do I have, and who do I ask? Both of those things are entirely up to you. If you have a large group of very close, intimate friends who you really want in to be involved in your wedding, then ask them. However, don't ask someone to be in your wedding because you feel obligated. Just because you were best friends in high school doesn't mean your as close as you were now, and chances are, unless they're SUPER sensitive, they are not going to be bothered if you don't ask them to be in your wedding. Your bridal party should be made up of your best friends and the girls (or boys!) you care about most. Also, if you have someone close to you but you feel like they'd just be too much to have help plan and arrange things, you might want to weigh the cost of your sanity if they were involved. It can be a sticky situation, but ultimately it's your decision whether you ask them or not. I'd say if they are just so intense that you can't deal with it, don't ask them to be a bridesmaid. There are other jobs you can give them.

A very common trend nowadays is to NOT make your bridesmaids all wear the same dress in the same color, and this is something I prefer. Making someone wear a dress that isn't flattering or that they don't like will be unpleasant for them, so consider giving them a color family or shades (i.e. any pastel or any jewel tone) and let them find the dress from there. They're being in your wedding because they care about you and working hard so that your special day is extra special. The least you can do is let them be comfortable and wear something that they think they look beautiful in. Most will ask you your opinion on the dress, so of course you get some say. But don't control everything they do as far as dresses! They will probably resent being harassed about their dresses in the long run.

 

(the above actually looks pretty similar to what my soon to be sister-in-law's bridal party is going to look like). 

Most of all, though, be kind to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. (Check post R-E-S-P-E-C-T). They love you and care about you. Everyone has been stressed out at one point or another, and if you're stressed about your wedding, your friends will understand. But don't abuse that. Apologize if you rip their heads off in the middle of a frenzy about ivory or pure white roses, and be sincere, and try not to do it again. Talk calmly about your stress. Find a friend who will help you laugh it off and then help you out with your decision. Discuss your stresses with your fiance, but please try to be as kind as you can to everyone. Being rude will make the planning process a lot more unpleasant.

I am fortunate enough to be in my brother's wedding, and the bride has overall been very relaxed. Brides, if your fiance has a sister he is very close to, it'd be nice if you asked her to be in the wedding The same goes for grooms with fiances that have brothers they're close to. It will mean a lot to them. I know it meant a lot to me. :) Have a wonderful rest of the day, my dears!

The Dress.

Listening to: Maria Maria - Carlos Santana

Smooth - Carlos Santana ft. Rob Thomas

Be Still - The Fray

Good afternoon, guys and dolls! This is the post I've been looking forward to most. I'd wanted to save it for a later date, but I have zero self control, so here it is: the dress!

Dresses are what most brides - in my experience - start worrying about first. Why shouldn't they? You want to look beautiful on your special day. Obviously the dress is a key part to that. There are so many options for dresses/gowns, as well - so much that they could get a bit overwhelming. Puffy princess skirt or a very sleek, sheath shaped dress? Long train? No train? Short, long, in between? Strapless or straps or sleeves? The list goes on for days. Let's take this in steps. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Where are you getting married? Take your environment into account. If you're having a big wedding in a big, fancy place, then sure, go for the big, fancy gown. If you're having a beach wedding, opt for something more casual. If you're having a small ceremony at town hall or in a restaurant, then please do something very, very simple. I'd suggest just going to T.J. Maxx and finding something lovely, as well as something you can wear again. You'll prefer it in the long run.

2. What's your body shape, and which style of dress looks best on it? For example, if you're one of those beautiful bigger girls, an empire waist will look beautiful and flattering. If you're a tall, slim girl, then most dresses will look good on you - go for that big puffy skirt or the close-cut sheath. Shorter girls might want to consider the option of a shorter dress. Don't go for ballgowns. People will think you're drowning in the tulle. Many websites will give more insightful looks into your shape and the dress that will flatter you most. I suggest checking out Real Simple for that. Link to the site: http://tinyurl.com/6cmosmu

3. Traditional, vintage, or something modern? I know that I personally love vintage-style dresses, but a lot of girls would immediately go for the Vera Wang with the jagged, unfinished looking edges. To each their own! Get something that you love and that looks beautiful on you. It's probably going to be the first and last time you wear that dress, so make it count.

However, I'm going to suggest TRYING to find something you may be able to wear again. If you do get something fancy, though, consider giving it to a consignment shop, or else it will just be stuck in your closet for years to come. There are many consignment shops that sell wedding gowns, which brings me nicely into my next point.

Don't feel like you have to go to a David's Bridal to find your dress. There are so many other options! There are probably local formal wear businesses in or near your town, as well as bridal shops. Not only that, but CONSIGNMENT SHOPS. Check the more high end ones and look online - you may be surprised to find where they are. There are specific bridal consignment shops. Look in normal stores if you want something more casual. You may not find the white gown you always dreamed of, but you might find the blue, flowy number that becomes your new dream for the cheap price of $40. I am a huge supporter of T.J. Maxx. Always check there. ALWAYS. Like, I know they don't have vacuums or stoves or anything, but I'd still check there just to make sure I'm not missing out on a Calvin Klein original oven at half the normal price.

I'd really love to see less brides in strapless dresses and more brides in color. The white, strapless, big-skirted dress is so boring. My brother's fiancee is searching relentlessly for a blush dress because it looks nicer on her than white does. White can wash you out and take some of the natural glow out of your skin. Ivory is lovely, as well, if you still want something in that family. I'm seeing more dresses with straps or sleeves, which is great. I fell in love with Kate Middleton's dress last April. (Yep, I'm one of those weird people obsessed with the British royal family). It looked perfect on her and was just so simple and pretty. The lace was my favorite bit, and lace seems to be making a comeback in dresses since then. 

My last point is to not wait until the last moment for your dress unless you know you are buying off the rack. Alterations can take a couple of months. If you find your dream dress a week before your wedding but it needs to be altered, you are going to be one disappointed bride. So either try to find something off the rack or decide what you want as soon as you can. 

To sum up:

1. Find something that suits your body type, your personality and your venue. 
2. Don't be too ridiculous about dresses. There are more important aspects of your wedding.
3. Don't feel obligated to go to a ritzy bridal store. Think outside the box!
4. Try to find something that you like that's at least in a soft, subtle color, or accent your white dress with a sash of a different color. 
5. Don't wait until the last minute!
6. Can veils start being a thing again? 

Have a great day! Just some of my favorite dresses below.