The Music!

Sorry for the lack of posts last week! It got very hectic 'round these parts. There are just a couple of posts left until the big day, and maybe then I'll blog about something else. Any suggestions? :) Leave them in the comments, guys and dolls.


The music is a very key part to any wedding. Let's break it into five sections.

1. What are you going to be walking down to?

•    There's always the traditional wedding march. 
• Or maybe Pachelbel's Canon in D Major?
• Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring? 
• Ode to Joy?
• Rondeau?
• Or maybe something completely non-traditional but very meaningful to you and your fiancee. 
• I like Yiruma's River Flows in You but then Twilight ruined it even though it apparently wasn't in the movie.
• WHATEVER.

I know some couples have decided to not actually walk down the aisle, but to just be there when the guests arrive. There's also that one thing about people dancing down the aisle. Whatever you want to do, pick music that's fitting. A wedding is a very joyous occasion, and it should be fun, but please don't make it ridiculous. Take into account how serious a decision that you're making. The ceremony is not meant to be a dance party, in my opinion, as cute as I thought the idea was. (I'm very conflicted on this matter). 

2. What will you be playing during dinner?

• This might be the opportunity to play the older, jazzier songs on your playlist. While I love those types,  it's not very likely that they'll be good songs to really dance to, unless they're for slow dances or if your friends are big fans of that genre. Of course, there are older songs that can get people moving and that they're familiar with, but most people like to sing along to familiar songs that are popular and that they hear often.
• So if you have some a lot of softer songs that you'd like to play during the party at some point, play them during dinner and save some for slow dances. 

3. If you decide to, what are you and your father going to dance to?

• I'm going to get this out of the way right now. DON'T PLAY BUTTERFLY KISSES, I LOVED HER FIRST, ETC. You will have a room full of sobbing people, including you and your father. Save everyone some pain for the love of all that's holy. You can do something very sweet and meaningful without making everyone need to get another stiff drink at the bar to compose themselves. 
• A wedding is a very happy day, but it can be bittersweet for parents. Go easy on them, kids.

4. What are you going to dance to with your husband or wife?

• This, like the father-daughter dance (or mother-son, if you want!) should be meaningful. It doesn't necessarily have to be slow. It could be fun and fast-paced, but it should mean something to the two of you. Again, try to avoid tear-jerkers. People will most likely cry no matter what's played, so maybe that's kind of unavoidable, but try to not add to their suffering. 

5. Lastly, what are you going to play for dancing?

• As mentioned earlier, people like to dance to songs that they're familiar with. If you like older songs, there are definitely a lot of them that are familiar. Even if they're not, they're punchy and fun and fast and should be nice to dance to. Don't, however, fill your playlist with these. Most people listen to the radio, which is pretty much not-great-music-but-fun-to-dance-to-music central. 
• People like to sing along. If they don't know the words, they might feel kind of awkward on the dance floor.
• Pick a fantastic song to start the dancing out with, and bride and groom, maybe you should consider being the ones who start. Few people like to be the ones that start the dancing (I kind of love attention so I have no problem with this, and neither does my oldest brother - the one that's getting married). 
• Definitely have some slow songs lined up! If you have older people at the wedding, chances are they aren't going to be fist pumping to the Black Eyed Peas. Married couples might want to share a slow dance with their significant others, and your parents may not have had their fill of dancing with you. If you have siblings, this would be a good opportunity to get a dance with them in. 

I think that pretty much covers all the bases. Have a fantastic rest of your day, guys and dolls! :) I'll see you week. 

The Bridal Party.

Listening to: EVERYTHING BY DAUGHTER. NEW OBSESSION. OMG.

Hope you're having a good Monday so far, my fraunds. :)


So the situation with the bridal party is much like the situation with the guest list: it's possible that you feel obligated to ask everyone that you know, resulting in an unnecessarily large bridal party. I know that in some cultures it's customary to have a lot of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and to be honest, it doesn't bother me that much. The only problem is if you are a very demanding bride, in which case you're probably asking them to get a very specific dress in a very specific color and a very specific style, which could be very expensive. (If you guessed that 'very' is the word of the day, you guessed right! Congratulations! Give yourself a pat on the back and buy yourself a cookie. You earned it).

If you decide to have a Maid of Honor, then it falls to that person to throw you a shower, which could also be expensive. If you want a Jack and Jill shower, it's customary to have it in a hall, and those are not cheap, unless you pick the slummiest one you can find. Even if you don't have a Maid of Honor, one of your bridesmaids is probably going to throw you a shower. If it's a personal one for just women, then the cost isn't going to be bad, most likely. However, if you want a big one for both you and your soon-to-be-husband, we just go in a loop and we're back to the same renting a hall problem. Of course, if you have a willing friend that offers to let you use their house for your shower, then fantastic. Bear in mind that planning a shower is a lot of work, and a thank you present for whoever throws you one would be a very nice gesture.

Now onto the next part: how many bridesmaids/groomsmen do I have, and who do I ask? Both of those things are entirely up to you. If you have a large group of very close, intimate friends who you really want in to be involved in your wedding, then ask them. However, don't ask someone to be in your wedding because you feel obligated. Just because you were best friends in high school doesn't mean your as close as you were now, and chances are, unless they're SUPER sensitive, they are not going to be bothered if you don't ask them to be in your wedding. Your bridal party should be made up of your best friends and the girls (or boys!) you care about most. Also, if you have someone close to you but you feel like they'd just be too much to have help plan and arrange things, you might want to weigh the cost of your sanity if they were involved. It can be a sticky situation, but ultimately it's your decision whether you ask them or not. I'd say if they are just so intense that you can't deal with it, don't ask them to be a bridesmaid. There are other jobs you can give them.

A very common trend nowadays is to NOT make your bridesmaids all wear the same dress in the same color, and this is something I prefer. Making someone wear a dress that isn't flattering or that they don't like will be unpleasant for them, so consider giving them a color family or shades (i.e. any pastel or any jewel tone) and let them find the dress from there. They're being in your wedding because they care about you and working hard so that your special day is extra special. The least you can do is let them be comfortable and wear something that they think they look beautiful in. Most will ask you your opinion on the dress, so of course you get some say. But don't control everything they do as far as dresses! They will probably resent being harassed about their dresses in the long run.

 

(the above actually looks pretty similar to what my soon to be sister-in-law's bridal party is going to look like). 

Most of all, though, be kind to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. (Check post R-E-S-P-E-C-T). They love you and care about you. Everyone has been stressed out at one point or another, and if you're stressed about your wedding, your friends will understand. But don't abuse that. Apologize if you rip their heads off in the middle of a frenzy about ivory or pure white roses, and be sincere, and try not to do it again. Talk calmly about your stress. Find a friend who will help you laugh it off and then help you out with your decision. Discuss your stresses with your fiance, but please try to be as kind as you can to everyone. Being rude will make the planning process a lot more unpleasant.

I am fortunate enough to be in my brother's wedding, and the bride has overall been very relaxed. Brides, if your fiance has a sister he is very close to, it'd be nice if you asked her to be in the wedding The same goes for grooms with fiances that have brothers they're close to. It will mean a lot to them. I know it meant a lot to me. :) Have a wonderful rest of the day, my dears!