The Bridal Party.

Listening to: EVERYTHING BY DAUGHTER. NEW OBSESSION. OMG.

Hope you're having a good Monday so far, my fraunds. :)


So the situation with the bridal party is much like the situation with the guest list: it's possible that you feel obligated to ask everyone that you know, resulting in an unnecessarily large bridal party. I know that in some cultures it's customary to have a lot of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and to be honest, it doesn't bother me that much. The only problem is if you are a very demanding bride, in which case you're probably asking them to get a very specific dress in a very specific color and a very specific style, which could be very expensive. (If you guessed that 'very' is the word of the day, you guessed right! Congratulations! Give yourself a pat on the back and buy yourself a cookie. You earned it).

If you decide to have a Maid of Honor, then it falls to that person to throw you a shower, which could also be expensive. If you want a Jack and Jill shower, it's customary to have it in a hall, and those are not cheap, unless you pick the slummiest one you can find. Even if you don't have a Maid of Honor, one of your bridesmaids is probably going to throw you a shower. If it's a personal one for just women, then the cost isn't going to be bad, most likely. However, if you want a big one for both you and your soon-to-be-husband, we just go in a loop and we're back to the same renting a hall problem. Of course, if you have a willing friend that offers to let you use their house for your shower, then fantastic. Bear in mind that planning a shower is a lot of work, and a thank you present for whoever throws you one would be a very nice gesture.

Now onto the next part: how many bridesmaids/groomsmen do I have, and who do I ask? Both of those things are entirely up to you. If you have a large group of very close, intimate friends who you really want in to be involved in your wedding, then ask them. However, don't ask someone to be in your wedding because you feel obligated. Just because you were best friends in high school doesn't mean your as close as you were now, and chances are, unless they're SUPER sensitive, they are not going to be bothered if you don't ask them to be in your wedding. Your bridal party should be made up of your best friends and the girls (or boys!) you care about most. Also, if you have someone close to you but you feel like they'd just be too much to have help plan and arrange things, you might want to weigh the cost of your sanity if they were involved. It can be a sticky situation, but ultimately it's your decision whether you ask them or not. I'd say if they are just so intense that you can't deal with it, don't ask them to be a bridesmaid. There are other jobs you can give them.

A very common trend nowadays is to NOT make your bridesmaids all wear the same dress in the same color, and this is something I prefer. Making someone wear a dress that isn't flattering or that they don't like will be unpleasant for them, so consider giving them a color family or shades (i.e. any pastel or any jewel tone) and let them find the dress from there. They're being in your wedding because they care about you and working hard so that your special day is extra special. The least you can do is let them be comfortable and wear something that they think they look beautiful in. Most will ask you your opinion on the dress, so of course you get some say. But don't control everything they do as far as dresses! They will probably resent being harassed about their dresses in the long run.

 

(the above actually looks pretty similar to what my soon to be sister-in-law's bridal party is going to look like). 

Most of all, though, be kind to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. (Check post R-E-S-P-E-C-T). They love you and care about you. Everyone has been stressed out at one point or another, and if you're stressed about your wedding, your friends will understand. But don't abuse that. Apologize if you rip their heads off in the middle of a frenzy about ivory or pure white roses, and be sincere, and try not to do it again. Talk calmly about your stress. Find a friend who will help you laugh it off and then help you out with your decision. Discuss your stresses with your fiance, but please try to be as kind as you can to everyone. Being rude will make the planning process a lot more unpleasant.

I am fortunate enough to be in my brother's wedding, and the bride has overall been very relaxed. Brides, if your fiance has a sister he is very close to, it'd be nice if you asked her to be in the wedding The same goes for grooms with fiances that have brothers they're close to. It will mean a lot to them. I know it meant a lot to me. :) Have a wonderful rest of the day, my dears!