Hey guys and dolls. This has nothing to do with weddings, but I'd appreciate it if you took a listen to some recordings that were taken during a music fest in which a good friend of mine and I performed in. I'm the one singing. Thanks! :)
http://phobia.net/~gene/music/mf2012/03ao.mp3
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
THE VENUE. (For whose parents are paying.)
Picture the scene for me, guys and dolls.
You get engaged to the love of your life. You are overjoyed and the first people you tell are your parents. All of you celebrate and cry and laugh and you are in a state of complete bliss. A couple of weeks pass. Your mother begins to question you on your plans: your dress, your venue of choice, the theme, the guest list, the food. A sinking sensation weighs you down.
Quickly you run to the computer and look at your checking account. More sinking. You click to your savings account. The sinking just keeps on going. You'd dreamed of a grandiose wedding since you were just a child, and now you clearly don't have the funds. What are you going to do? This is awful, oh God oh no what am I going to do we're going to town hall aren't we yes that's right we're going to town hall this is not my Cinderella wedding AEIRAAIWEAFJNjndasw.
Dad comes over after watching your mild mental breakdown, pats you on the shoulder, and says,
"Don't worry, honey, we've been saving up for this for a few years. We have $6,000 put away, and Jimmy's parents also have some money saved up. We've got this!"
You feel relief. The bliss returns. $6,000 and then some seems like plenty to have a beautiful wedding. I mean, you're not going to be in a palace or anything, but it's still a good chunk of change. You hurriedly thank your parents and call Jimmy. The two of you get down to the business of planning. Things seem to be going swimmingly as you shop for decorations. Then you start looking at halls, dresses, suits/tuxes, and catering. Jimmy goes home, confident that everything will go smoothly. You, on the other hand, stay up until four in the morning, drinking several mug fulls of coffee, and carry on the idea of a Cinderella wedding.
You find a gorgeous, huge reception hall to hold all of your many friends that's nestled in a quiet location, beside a lake. It comes with catering! And a bar! Peacocks strut about outside and wouldn't it look lovely with a string quartet at the left side, beside the window overlooking that lake? And hey, they can almost guarantee a double rainbow over the lake. You add up the cost: a whopping $10,000. Far over your budget. And...jeez. Drinks are expensive and you really want an open bar. Would it be rude to restrict your friends to one drink each? One cheap drink each? You bookmark the site anyway, and now would be the time to please STOP.
You do not stop. You tell mom and dad, and they stare at you with some slight disgust. They gently try to tell you that it's not doable, but they will happily help you find a reception venue that's just as nice. Being a new Bridezilla, you grit your teeth, ball up your fists, and get ready for a tantrum the likes of which have not been seen since you were six years old. You stomp to the computer and show your parents. They don't even think the hall is pretty enough! They say it's tacky and that the floor looks too slippery! What's going on? This is craziness.
You put your hands on your hips and point out all of the good parts of it. They remain unconvinced. You throw your hands in the air and wail, "BUT THE PEACOCKS!" Still unconvinced. They persist in saying it's tacky and definitely not worth the money and honey, if you want to see peacocks, we can take you to the zoo...
I think what bothers me most about this situation is that your parents are PAYING FOR EVERYTHING. If they are paying, you adhere strictly to their budget, and you also take into account their opinion on the things they're buying. Ultimately, if you really love the dress, the venue, etc, and it's in the price range, then the chances are that your parents will say okay. If not, you have to listen to them because they cannot conjure money out of the air and please do not make them get a second mortgage for their house. PLEASE. DO. NOT. I know people who have done that and it's insanity.
To sum up this post:
You get engaged to the love of your life. You are overjoyed and the first people you tell are your parents. All of you celebrate and cry and laugh and you are in a state of complete bliss. A couple of weeks pass. Your mother begins to question you on your plans: your dress, your venue of choice, the theme, the guest list, the food. A sinking sensation weighs you down.
Quickly you run to the computer and look at your checking account. More sinking. You click to your savings account. The sinking just keeps on going. You'd dreamed of a grandiose wedding since you were just a child, and now you clearly don't have the funds. What are you going to do? This is awful, oh God oh no what am I going to do we're going to town hall aren't we yes that's right we're going to town hall this is not my Cinderella wedding AEIRAAIWEAFJNjndasw.
Dad comes over after watching your mild mental breakdown, pats you on the shoulder, and says,
"Don't worry, honey, we've been saving up for this for a few years. We have $6,000 put away, and Jimmy's parents also have some money saved up. We've got this!"
You feel relief. The bliss returns. $6,000 and then some seems like plenty to have a beautiful wedding. I mean, you're not going to be in a palace or anything, but it's still a good chunk of change. You hurriedly thank your parents and call Jimmy. The two of you get down to the business of planning. Things seem to be going swimmingly as you shop for decorations. Then you start looking at halls, dresses, suits/tuxes, and catering. Jimmy goes home, confident that everything will go smoothly. You, on the other hand, stay up until four in the morning, drinking several mug fulls of coffee, and carry on the idea of a Cinderella wedding.
You find a gorgeous, huge reception hall to hold all of your many friends that's nestled in a quiet location, beside a lake. It comes with catering! And a bar! Peacocks strut about outside and wouldn't it look lovely with a string quartet at the left side, beside the window overlooking that lake? And hey, they can almost guarantee a double rainbow over the lake. You add up the cost: a whopping $10,000. Far over your budget. And...jeez. Drinks are expensive and you really want an open bar. Would it be rude to restrict your friends to one drink each? One cheap drink each? You bookmark the site anyway, and now would be the time to please STOP.
You do not stop. You tell mom and dad, and they stare at you with some slight disgust. They gently try to tell you that it's not doable, but they will happily help you find a reception venue that's just as nice. Being a new Bridezilla, you grit your teeth, ball up your fists, and get ready for a tantrum the likes of which have not been seen since you were six years old. You stomp to the computer and show your parents. They don't even think the hall is pretty enough! They say it's tacky and that the floor looks too slippery! What's going on? This is craziness.
You put your hands on your hips and point out all of the good parts of it. They remain unconvinced. You throw your hands in the air and wail, "BUT THE PEACOCKS!" Still unconvinced. They persist in saying it's tacky and definitely not worth the money and honey, if you want to see peacocks, we can take you to the zoo...
I think what bothers me most about this situation is that your parents are PAYING FOR EVERYTHING. If they are paying, you adhere strictly to their budget, and you also take into account their opinion on the things they're buying. Ultimately, if you really love the dress, the venue, etc, and it's in the price range, then the chances are that your parents will say okay. If not, you have to listen to them because they cannot conjure money out of the air and please do not make them get a second mortgage for their house. PLEASE. DO. NOT. I know people who have done that and it's insanity.
To sum up this post:
- Be grateful your parents are paying for this shindig. They love you and only want the best for you. I mean, they could have taken the money and gone to Aruba instead.
- Do not try to make them pay for things that just aren't in the budget.
- I'm sorry. Peacocks are not in most people's budgets.
- Think of people beautiful places in your area and go to look at halls. Don't judge a place based on its outward appearance. (Deep, huh?) Check them out in person. You WILL find something lovely and also in the budget.
- Listen to your parents' opinions. They definitely matter.
- If you CAN pay for your wedding, awesome. Go nuts, go crazy. It's your money. But it'd still be nice to take into account what mom and dad have to say.
I'll see you guys next Monday! <3 Have a great week.
Monday, June 18, 2012
To ring or not to ring?
Most every engagement is proposed with a ring of the to-be-bride's choosing. And that's just fine, although I would prefer if my ring was a surprise. That's just me, though. It's always the couple's choice on whether or not they want to pick out the engagement ring together. That, however, is not the point of this post. Let's get crackin'.
Ladies, please take into account that if your boyfriend cannot buy you the $10,000 Tiffany's ring you saw online, it is not because he a) does not love you, b) he should get another job, or c) YOU DESERVE IT AND HE'S JUST BEING STUBBORN WAAAAH! No, it is not any of the above. It's because a $10,000 ring is ridiculously, outrageously overpriced. I don't care if the diamond was found in the midst of Pompeii being clutched by a small, preserved infant who happened to be a king. Most people cannot afford to spend $10,000 on a stinking ring. Buy yourself a car. Get yourself a nice apartment. And let me tell you, I could find a ring that looked exactly the same on Amazon for $40.
Ladies, please take into account that if your boyfriend cannot buy you the $10,000 Tiffany's ring you saw online, it is not because he a) does not love you, b) he should get another job, or c) YOU DESERVE IT AND HE'S JUST BEING STUBBORN WAAAAH! No, it is not any of the above. It's because a $10,000 ring is ridiculously, outrageously overpriced. I don't care if the diamond was found in the midst of Pompeii being clutched by a small, preserved infant who happened to be a king. Most people cannot afford to spend $10,000 on a stinking ring. Buy yourself a car. Get yourself a nice apartment. And let me tell you, I could find a ring that looked exactly the same on Amazon for $40.
I beg of you to find the difference between those two rings. Not much of one, is there? Another thing that bugs me is that so many brides insist on the diamond and the princess cut. How crazy overrated can a ring get? Go for something different! Try a marquise. I see those so rarely, and they're gorgeous. Instead of a diamond, look for your favorite gemstone. If diamond is your favorite stone, then by all means, carry on and scroll past this. But do not feel like you have to get a diamond because that appears to be the only thing available to you. It isn't! There are so many options that go unnoticed because of this stupid diamond-princess-gotta-have-that-only trend. I would much prefer an emerald or a pearl.
Really, though, the engagement isn't about the ring. Who says you need one? Get a necklace, a bracelet, a toe ring, an anklet, a pair of earrings. Don't get anything. Get a Ring Pop. Get something that means something to you. Better yet, save the money if you can't afford to spare it and just be thrilled about being engaged. Getting married is one of the biggest decisions of your life. Why waste your time whining and being picky about a ring your boyfriend cannot possibly afford to buy you, or a ring he hates? I know that you have to wear it for the rest of your life. However, that doesn't mean it has to be a ring you don't like. The best option if you're very picky IS to go shopping with your boyfriend. You can choose something you both think is pretty, affordable, and very much to your taste.
To sum up:
- Don't be ridiculous. Don't expect your boyfriend to shell out thousands of dollars for a ring.
- Don't feel like you have to go with the trends. Try something new and something that you love. Go traditional, go crazy, go silly - whatever you want. Just make sure it's you.
- Most importantly, don't feel like you HAVE to have a ring to be engaged. That is not what an engagement is. If you want a symbol that you're engaged and don't want a ring, or can't afford one, try something cheaper but still tasteful and pretty.
- Choose something that looks good on your hand and that you love, not something all your friends got.
- Buying an expensive ring isn't necessary. (Can you tell this is one of my wedding pet peeves?) You can find the same ring online somewhere for much cheaper. Spare your bank accounts a little pain, eh?
- Frankly, you don't even need a ring. Keep that in mind!
DIFFERENT ENGAGEMENT OPTIONS:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)