THE VENUE. (For whose parents are paying.)

Picture the scene for me, guys and dolls.


You get engaged to the love of your life. You are overjoyed and the first people you tell are your parents. All of you celebrate and cry and laugh and you are in a state of complete bliss. A couple of weeks pass. Your mother begins to question you on your plans: your dress, your venue of choice, the theme, the guest list, the food. A sinking sensation weighs you down.


Quickly you run to the computer and look at your checking account. More sinking. You click to your savings account. The sinking just keeps on going. You'd dreamed of a grandiose wedding since you were just a  child, and now you clearly don't have the funds. What are you going to do? This is awful, oh God oh no what am I going to do we're going to town hall aren't we yes that's right we're going to town hall this is not my Cinderella wedding AEIRAAIWEAFJNjndasw.


Dad comes over after watching your mild mental breakdown, pats you on the shoulder, and says,


"Don't worry, honey, we've been saving up for this for a few years. We have $6,000 put away, and Jimmy's parents also have some money saved up. We've got this!"


You feel relief. The bliss returns. $6,000 and then some seems like plenty to have a beautiful wedding. I mean, you're not going to be in a palace or anything, but it's still a good chunk of change. You hurriedly thank your parents and call Jimmy. The two of you get down to the business of planning. Things seem to be going swimmingly as you shop for decorations. Then you start looking at halls, dresses, suits/tuxes, and catering. Jimmy goes home, confident that everything will go smoothly. You, on the other hand, stay up until four in the morning, drinking several mug fulls of coffee, and carry on the idea of a Cinderella wedding.


You find a gorgeous, huge reception hall to hold all of your many friends that's nestled in a quiet location, beside a lake. It comes with catering! And a bar! Peacocks strut about outside and wouldn't it look lovely with a string quartet at the left side, beside the window overlooking that lake? And hey, they can almost guarantee a double rainbow over the lake. You add up the cost: a whopping $10,000. Far over your budget. And...jeez. Drinks are expensive and you really want an open bar. Would it be rude to restrict your friends to one drink each? One cheap drink each? You bookmark the site anyway, and now would be the time to please STOP.


You do not stop. You tell mom and dad, and they stare at you with some slight disgust. They gently try to tell you that it's not doable, but they will happily help you find a reception venue that's just as nice. Being a new Bridezilla, you grit your teeth, ball up your fists, and get ready for a tantrum the likes of which have not been seen since you were six years old. You stomp to the computer and show your parents. They don't even think the hall is pretty enough! They say it's tacky and that the floor looks too slippery! What's going on? This is craziness.


You put your hands on your hips and point out all of the good parts of it. They remain unconvinced. You throw your hands in the air and wail, "BUT THE PEACOCKS!" Still unconvinced. They persist in saying it's tacky and definitely not worth the money and honey, if you want to see peacocks, we can take you to the zoo...


I think what bothers me most about this situation is that your parents are PAYING FOR EVERYTHING. If they are paying, you adhere strictly to their budget, and you also take into account their opinion on the things they're buying. Ultimately, if you really love the dress, the venue, etc, and it's in the price range, then the chances are that your parents will say okay. If not, you have to listen to them because they cannot conjure money out of the air and please do not make them get a second mortgage for their house. PLEASE. DO. NOT. I know people who have done that and it's insanity.


To sum up this post:

1. Be grateful your parents are paying for this shindig. They love you and only want the best for you. I mean, they could have taken the money and gone to Aruba instead.
2. Do not try to make them pay for things that just aren't in the budget.
3. I'm sorry. Peacocks are not in most people's budgets.
4. Think of people beautiful places in your area and go to look at halls. Don't judge a place based on its outward appearance. (Deep, huh?) Check them out in person. You WILL find something lovely and also in the budget.
5. Listen to your parents' opinions. They definitely matter.
6. If you CAN pay for your wedding, awesome. Go nuts, go crazy. It's your money. But it'd still be nice to take into account what mom and dad have to say.

I'll see you guys next Monday! <3 Have a great week.